iim s0 0ver y0u___+

2008-11-26T00:49:00.003+08:00

wow finally getting back into blogger.
ive been using lj for far too long, this is getting weird haha.

anyway im in a freaken dilemma because ive been offered a job
with my ridiculous resume that i submitted.
and i found a better job which pays me a nice 2digit pay per hour.
im definitely trying to get that. but it starts in jan and it'll mean ill be rotting for dec.
not that i would mind, i'd love to get up lateee all day.

i just need to find a fucking excuse to tell the other company that i don't want the admin job.
damn my brain needs to come up with a good excuse.

chiak should get me a tuition job for decemberrrrrrr.
and my life will be all good then.

DAMN NOW I NEED TO FIND MY OLEVEL CERT.

(edit)
HAHA WHAT THE FUCK. 9th july post -

Such a masquerade party. It would suck if that was the theme for this year’s prom. I wouldn’t want to hide beneath the mask that I’m already putting on.

ima pretend i didnt not say that shit and i'm going to hella enjoy myself during prom. oh yeah.

...err?

2008-08-14T20:37:00.002+08:00

i pretty much typed what i had to on national day and left the blog alone until today. and the only reason im blogging is because i read back what i wrote and i realised i wrote "...i hate how because of my own values i end up hating people around him."

i don't quite remember who the him is, but if it's him i referred to the other day in my sub-concious mind, then bloody hell it just goes to show how much my life revolves around him.

although i remember clearly that i wanted to write "... around me."

i dont know why im typing this btw.

2008-08-09T19:30:00.002+08:00

people really do change quite fast. i've mentioned this quite a few times, and i can't help but to just keep believing in it and hoping for it to come quick. i can't wait for school to officially end, where i can just walk away from everyone and begin new, begin being quite alive. those people i knew from primary school, from secondary school - all changed. for the better, or not.

i guess i cannot blame anyone for me not liking change. i really can't wait to walk away and stop pretending everything is just the same. you meet new people, your perceptions change, you don't hold on to the values you once believed in. no one stays quite the same, they all change somehow but i just can't adapt to it.

oh hell, jc life was fun. it was havoc and wild but it's not quite my way of life. like the other day, san and i were talking during sastera and i told him i wanted to get back to primary school. heck those times were the best. there wasn't a worry on my mind, at all.

i hate lying to myself, telling myself it'll all fall in place soon, back to square one where all was fine and dandy. fuck shit, i hate changes and i hate how because of my own values i end up hating people around him.

i try so hard, so much. i quoted this off somewhere.

"when one person tries so hard, the other person's effort seem subtle no matter how much effort he puts in. so the relationship dies when the person who tries too hard decides its too tiring for her."

that is so true. i feel like crying and caving in. why is it that everytime i sit down and think everything is okay, it just comes up all over again?

i'm counting down to the days i say goodbye to all of this.

end of life.

2008-08-06T21:20:00.003+08:00

i didn't plan on updating but i thought this deserves a post on its own.
bloody hell, i've learnt something valuable today. never ever upload your personal photos up on your photobucket which is accessible by all.
that move of mine resulted in shameless, sungguh tak perlu photos of mine springing up in the mcs video every few second. hell, i was embarassed like shit.
it didnt help that the bani was going " lagiiii.." every time my face came up.

okay. shit i miss dikir already. i walked down the stairs to mlep room and said to izza "that marked the end of my dikir". i love dayah.

shopping online makes me depressed. lovely lovely clothes for a price that isn't that cheap. i know by the time i end this post, i would have ordered something online.

love guru tmr and pizza hut friday. my money is going up in the skies.

8D

2008-07-13T23:26:00.003+08:00

i'm almost never subtle with my words nor actions nor feelings. so most of the time -- what you see is what you get.

damn i miss that boy that i used to like. i miss the boy that i once knewwww. maaaaaaak, if only he wasnt so bloody irritating, he'll be a perfect candidate for a boyf. ALAH I WANT THE NICE BOY BACK LA. i think that slight fall for him was one of the best feelingsssss in jc. then when i fell out of it, life became so boring HAHAHAHAH.

best best best feeling. i like you, boy. i only wish you were that boy i knew some months ago.

2008-07-09T23:08:00.002+08:00

taken from 7/7.

I can’t blog right now cos the stupid connection decided to play a fool today so I shall type this in MsWords first and transfer later.

I hate the number 7 to begin it – apart from David Villa having that number, I hate 7 as a whole. I despise late night talks, cos I end up very disturbed and emotional. I despise people who don’t respond to my msg. Apart from the occasional messages of mine which were redundant, I despise whoever who don’t respond to my non-redundant messages. I hate how easily I get affected and I hate how I’m letting minor things affect me. I hate how I don’t share my misery with people but end up making them miserable due to my misery. I hate how I’m not myself anymore, how much of a façade I’ve become.

Such a masquerade party. It would suck if that was the theme for this year’s prom. I wouldn’t want to hide beneath the mask that I’m already putting on.

It sucks how I’m finally on the verge of giving up after such a small small action by you. If I were to reason with myself, I would pretty much find myself petty and stupid. But the mind and heart are complete opposites, aren’t they? They are technically enemies, being complete bitches with each other. Ah fuck.

----

I hate that smile in the eye that you had. You know what? I don't think I can trust you anymore.

uhm.

2008-07-03T18:46:00.002+08:00

although i sayang you for who you are, it does not mean that whatever you do to me is not irritatable. sometimes i just hold it all in, because i don't see the reason for me to bingit. but really, when it happens all too often, it takes alot to restrain myself. maybe i should just stop lying to myself about how i don't care when i really do. i should learn to be like nadz and mean it when i say i'm givingup/not bothering about you.

sometimes you really should just take a step back and take note of people's feeling. doesn't mean you flash them your smile and everything's gna be alright. and also, i'm starting to think it's all not worth it ---- the effort i put in.

let me love you and not feel like i should love you instead.

PEOPLE LOVE TO IRRITATE ME MAN OMG. just stop. esp that girl that i'm beginning to hate. MOVE ON IN LIFE. do not hold back and pretend you're still part of us.

(:

2008-06-29T22:44:00.002+08:00

HAHA the past 6 entries have been nothing but emo ones and this entry is no different. i really should try to lift my spirit upppppppp. :D

i would try to avoid this, seriously. but this is one of the few methods i know i could reach you.

i'm sorry for whatever i said if i did hurt you with my words. i didn't want to say it out but heck i still did. you of all people should know that i don't mean those words to you personally. it was meant in general. and i believe ive told you this before but i can't tell if you'll remember. i'm over that, over it all. so if those words hurt you, you should know it longer hurt me. so those words were just a reminder of what happened before, and i'm no longer affected by it so i hope you didnt get affected by my words. that's all.

i should get started on sastera and its all 11pm HAHAHA. and baby baby, spain's gonna lift the trophy tonight. and i shall spazz with nadz tmr about hot boys :D HAHAHAHAHA.

2008-06-28T21:28:00.002+08:00

i really try hard not to be so emo and fucked up when i write these blog entries but everytime i log into blogger, i just get into this really emotional state like as if everything in my life has gone so so wrong - when it hasn't at all.

i'm perfectly fine when i'm in school because i'm surrounded by amazing people although occasionally i feel disappointed by certain people, they certainly don't impact me so much. but when i'm alone in front of the laptop, it suddenly feels like i'm all alone in this world, where i'm uncertain of my future and where i'm going to end up in.

and now is another of those such times.

yet it sucks when concerned friends come up and ask me what's wrong, and i can't piece the words together just to tell them. and i hate thinking of they think i'm keeping things from them because all in all, i'm not. it's absurb to tell them i fall into a depressed mood whenever i feel like doing so - just because i love telling myself i love being depressed - ha, what am i talking ab0ut? i feel depressed already.

okay bye.

7 weeks.

2008-06-23T23:16:00.001+08:00

just 7 weeks.

no judging yana, no judging. what happened to you maturing up, not judging people?
stop doing it, you're not perfect yourself.

rot in hell.

2008-06-21T15:39:00.001+08:00

asal maz ayn and izza go blaja without me T-T ernie chiak and reza also.
i no life sia.

i am freaking pissed. i hateeeeeeeeeee how things are at home.
i want to maki like hell but i'm restraining ARGH.

mampoooos.

2008-06-19T16:24:00.002+08:00

ah fuck. i remember ali telling me that if he wanted to make me jealous for him going to nz, he could have done so by showing me the pictures. soooooo i resisted like hell cos i know i'll end up jealous.

damn my itchy hands had to go to friendster and look through profiles and damn i saw pictures of new zealand. damn. i am freaking jealous cos the place is fucking pretty T-T

let me go and be depressed in some corner cos i'm stuck in boring ol singapore. ARGHHH.

if it kills me.

2008-06-18T17:09:00.003+08:00

this blog is such a filtered version of what i'm feeling, going through, thinking about.

reminder to self : never ever blog about what you feel at night. because when you wake up the next morning, you'll realise it's just a one-off thing that doesn't require much attention anyway.

all i want to do is love you,
a kind much closer than friends use
but i still can't say it after all we've been through
and all i really want from you is to feel me
as the feeling inside keeps building
and i will find a way to you if it kills me
jason mraz - if it kills me

i hope life gets better when i end school. while i'm grateful for all my girlfriends and everyone else, there's just something in every happiness that makes you wince in pain. i love you in the simplest sense. sorry, thank you. bye.

....

2008-06-17T03:03:00.002+08:00

don't you feel stupid? to think about someone and then get hurt knowing you're not really prominent and important? and what's worst is to already go through it and still be "brave" and go through it again. stupidity runs in your blood, it seems.

i am fucking pissed with myself.

am just back from shopping/short holiday trip in kl. and i wished i didnt come back. even told mom that i felt homesick, i wanted to be on the same land as you. fat hope like a fat pig. why do i bother?

thank heavens i had fun for the past 3 days in kl, seeing stupid people fight on the streets, outside clubs, and screaming. getting drenched in the rain, buying tons of food to gobble down in hotel rooms, buying dunkin donuts till i got sick of it, laughing my ass of at my brother for being a fool, screaming at my younger brother for messing up the toilet, getting pissed off at malaysia public phones for being stupid, getting amazed by cheap things in msia - it was all amazing. watching duyung in the hotel room, ayat-ayat cinta in the car. i love every minute of it.

walked in the same metrojaya we kiddos went to during our sch trip to kl. buying the same icecream we all bought during our night trip to the mall, walked down the aisle of the mall and recalled the dumb moments whr we kept laughing and the salegirls reluctantly bowing down to us kiddos. amazing memories.

met an incredibly cute ass guy at petaling street - i swear he's singaporean. damn i wish i'll bump into him here. it'll be awesome.

though i wish, if i knew of what i would feel, i would have stayed much much longer.

saya cinta awakkkkkk.

2008-06-11T19:14:00.003+08:00

If there was anyone who could make me feel good about myself, it'll be Ayunan Dewi. The gossip sessions with Bani, Jass, Aisha, Liy, Izza (with Sab and Maz more into their PSPs) was amazing (:

I lovelovelovelovelove Aisha, Liy, Sab. I don't even need to mention Bani and Jass and Maz and Izza, do I?

dinner, swensens and coffeebean

2008-06-09T19:49:00.004+08:00

the dinner that i didnt completeeee.

ah shit i forgot a border around nette's pic. myyyy dearest auntie.

very irritating babi. hahahha but i miss you so, mugger.

babi-faced bestfriend (:

i look dark, yo.

i missed these two real bad!

the weird smart assed bestfriend (:

hahah fat ah youuuu. got tummy :D yay for 5 kg !

after dinner, we decided to head for swensens icecreaaaam yummy. so we ordered earthquake, and dong counted only 7 scoops, so we asked for another one, and then i discovered that we had another one, below lime sherbet and almond pistacho. who on earth hides another scoop? so haha its not our fault :D

auntie lynette and meeeee

teeheeeeheee.

i love bf's hair here (:

i miss these three, but a few more. i can't wait for k ((((((: im going to rock the room and make your ears bleed hearing me sing hohohoo.

ARGH.

2008-06-04T20:08:00.003+08:00

i will kick the boy when he comes back from NZ because ayat-ayat cinta is still showing and he is no where in singapore and we were supposed to go together. argh. i was so pissed when i got to know about it smalam. and to think by the time he comes back, i am so sure ayat-ayat cinta will stop running.

alah u stay kat NZ je lah. tak payah baliiiiiiiik.

takpelah, takya tunggu u balik, today's the last day ayat-ayat cinta is showing. sighhhhhh.

sedih yo.

kental days with the kentalssssss.

2008-06-03T18:46:00.003+08:00

i won't even bother putting up manifest photos cos hahaha its all up in different blogs anyway. so here are photos from last night.

i look like i want to fart.

reach for the stars, yo.

ugly eh.

maz can jump high la seh.

HAHAHAHA CHECK OUT MAZNI FACE. WE LAUGHED ABOUT THIS TILL I FELT LIKE I WAS GNA PEE IN MY PANTS, which i didn't of course . hahahahhahaha

the night pretty sia.

we were done jumping and i even managed a "wth?" before jass took this.

busiest of us that night. we took a million and one photos before she was done w her call.

prettiest ive seen her. for the face is covered.

god, i swear i dont knw what they were waiting for cos i told them to jump and this is what they gave me . uhuuuh.

pretty sia.

and cos everyone was in a post-manifest syndrome (which is still residing in my heart), we dikired at the rooftop, teaching maz ragam and bariah becoming the juare. and me feeling excited cos i was sitting srikandi hhahaha. we should sooo do this again k maz. (:

empty.

2008-06-01T19:09:00.003+08:00

so anyone said anything about feeling uber great a day after manifest? who doesn't feel empty should go jump down a building because if you don't feel the post-manifest syndrome, you have not enjoyed manifest truly.

i have to step into the audi tmr for some seminar belia rehearsal but i will never see the audi in the same light again. i hope i don't tear up tmr. maz you better be by my side k. i hope the feeling goes away soon. are we having a perf on the 10th june? cos if we are, i hope it comes quickly. and i wna perform in dec for dayah's relative wedding too omg.

oh ali left for nz about an hour ago. and fiq left for umrah a day ago. i hope you both take careeeee and come back safe k loves. (:

manifestasi 2008

2008-06-01T00:01:00.001+08:00

Farid. says:
im trying to talk to everyone abt dikir
Farid. says:
just so that i wouldnt miss manifest soooooo sooooo much

exactly. post-manifest syndrome.
manifestasi 2008 was the best birthday present. ever.
now i shall go watch SK and AD's performance on youtube, then later edit some photos and post them up.

growing up.

2008-05-27T20:37:00.003+08:00

i'm afraid of growing up.

i'm not ready to be more matured, to behave like i'm on my own now.

i'm afraid of maturity, afraid of commitment.

ayunan dewi.

2008-05-25T11:13:00.002+08:00

it was crying day yesterday when rina and sahu and syikin talked to us about the previous manifest and dayah crying about how we can simply make her happy and soon it became it bare-your-soul session and i cried so bad. i think that was the first time the girls saw how i'm really like when i cry (except for izza and maz la).

my mate bengkak nak mamps. and the bengkak-ness is still here today. saket sehhh. i didn't actually plan to write so much. but yesterday, was the night i experienced what i joined dikir for. it wasn't that odac was boring (as how i usually claimed it), it could actually get quite fun. but the bond, the chemistry, the connection was missing. and i saw it ytd, at sunpla (:

ayunan dewi. with all my heart and soul, i will put my best. and i'm sure everyone will after yesterday. dayah, you will get the best from us. we will make you proud. we will make you feel like it's worth all the hard work you've done for us. bariah, you will sit thr and shed tears of joy, beaming like a proud mom. insyallah.

ayunan dewi. berdiri, sehati, sejiwa.

fab fiveeee.

2008-05-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

my boy and i.

she's my girl. coming to 5 years and still counting.

i met up with the faaaabs yesterday after maths test. the test was kind of horrible, by the way. anyway, ali didn't come along cos he met up with his other friends and reza was watching american idol when i reached so it was just me, ernie and chiak. and i honeslty believe all of us look superbly tired, or maybe its just me. so we talked nonsense then chiak taught ernie some econs and then reza came down aft him watching american idol and we just started talking nonsense- which is what we always do anyway. then went to get ramlee burger and sat down under the block and talked more nonsense haha.

chiak has ambitious plans with ali to open a shop, and their future careers which none of it includes having a good education cos chiak doesnt love to study. haha. which reminds me that chiak has an exam tmr so i should sms him soon.

dikir finally seems to be coming together, alhamdulilah. i hope it stays (: ayunan dewi, berdiri, sehati, sejiwa.

i think i need another ticket for manifesssssst.

ohmygod

2008-05-20T21:43:00.002+08:00

gossip girl season one has officially ended. omg. not the ending i was expecting for, but i'm not disappointed. season two must must be up soon omg i can't wait. chuck bass is love. my manwhore.

today was a tiring day. econs was funny cos AUNTIE MAZNIEHH and i had stupid random talks and MINGHAO is our adorable doorbell boy. okay that sentence did not make any sense AT ALL, but i guess only maz and i can understand (: and mazni reckons i'm a kinky girl and told me something about my i-want-him-to-be-my-scandal dudeeee (: HAHAHAHAHAH and she looked at me unbelievably when i told her that i wanted to see ____ . k da stop it, its just gna make me look worse than i already do.

ah LMS creates ALOT of problem for EVERYONE. i still don't see why teepee likes to use LMS. plus, i always get so lost in there, i don't knw which folder to look it for the stuff people upload. stress ah our tutorial qn hard like fuck. i don't even understand ah what the qn wants. gile susah nak mamps. ARGH.

i want to sit next to minghao and kaili for the rest of my maths lesson despite getting dirty looks from mrs tay and everyone cos minghao and kaili make alot of noise and somehow i join in. but omg sitting with them must be one of the funniest things cos minghao irritates me to no end and i turn to kaili and kaili will shut minghao up and minghao will then turn to me and say "i'm being irritated now." UHUHHHHH. fun la sia these boys. then ill walk to my girls and retell the whole story and not being sick and people like maz will go " AHHHHHHH IRRITATING but my cute minghaooooo." hahahahh. or smth along those lines. minghao got life k, and personality and he interesting as hell and funny. and sarcastic. okay shut up.

i want to avoid this special (oh soooo special, i hope you get me) someone who disgust me just by his voice. PLEASE PLEASE don't let him come near me cos he scares the hell out of me. mazni was seriously not helping the day he came close and i walked off, terrified. omg. and all she did was laugh her ass off while following me into the toilet.

hamdi is irritating. that's not smth new kan. and i like it when he tells me a joke and i stare into his face and he ends up saying "ok takpe" and i laugh my ass off cos he sorangggggg and hahaaahaha funny as hell. he should talk to me more often so i can stare at him then laugh when he da malu cos i din respond to his joke HAHA. and i look nice with les specs (mcm paham padahal i dint even look at myself). (((:

wahwah dgr2 ade sastera nak kene completeee. fuyooo suke pe yana buat qn sastera yg susah2 belaka.

gossip girl

2008-05-18T20:39:00.002+08:00

i hate how gossip girl is so addictive and i keep watching it and how i've been at my laptop all morning (and night) just because i'm watching it. and i've not done anything productive, at all. seeing how my maths test is just in... 3 days, i've not done anything to ensure that i at least get an E for it. worst of it, i have dikir tmr which just means ANOTHER day gone just like that.

another hour, and i'm done with the gossip girls. and then i'll prolly get some books and start OR get to bed and sleep.

anyway i hate calls, so if you'd prolly like to catch me on a better mood, text. when you call me, youll prolly get a grumpy me unless I'M the one calling YOU. not the other way round. text just do better with me, not calls. 10pm, still nothing productive yet.

whatever.

its kind of interesting when i'm here all day near the window and i hear screams from the opposite block, probably a domestic fight. it was kind of interesting when i hear the women scream and then a silence and more screaming asking the other party to go away and more screams. haha. although, i honeslty hope it wasn't one of those more gruesome ones. what's more interesting is, other people don't seem to be affected, it probably happens often.

dynn's pm says manifestasi full house is confirmed. i'm scared. anyway i can't believe sr has exams on the first week of hols. that sucks cos it means reza is not coming for manifest. UGH.

my bombx should come for manifest. cos i'm in denial (smth only my girls plus nasri knows, haha). and as maz lights up during her 2.4, i light up when i see my bombx walk past, or in his white polo tee cos he's as cute as hell. which people like izza cannot see. (((: and i cannot believe mr hottie i-would-like-to-cup-his-face-and-plant-kisses-all-over, or nadz's hotstuff is in a certain cca omgggggg.

anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANE ONG LU DA (:

2008-05-17T00:26:00.003+08:00

i love it when M blogs and updates long essays because honestly despite seeing her everyday, i always just learn something new about her in her blog. i've been the very core of irritating these past few days, irritating the shit out of jannah and maz especially with my new fav line. (:

i am coming to the point of being sick of dikir because i get so irritated that we can't get our clap right. i am so afraid that we're going to ruin it all, but what i see in my mind is an amazing performance during manifest. but i'm afraid it's all just part of my imagination and none of it will come true. sighhhhhhhh.

it's twin's birthday and i know she doesn't read this so ill save all my loving and speech for just her (:

i'm not supposed to like you nor think about you. but you've been on my mind ever since. and thanks for appearing and staying in my head, refusing to get out. i love it when we converse in english and in "i & you" instead of aku and kau, eventhough we do alot of aku's and kau's. i love it when you care and get concerned. i love how you're always there, neither physically nor mentally but just there. i'm just screwed up cos i don't understand a single thing i wrote. it's just this thing of wanting to turn to you when i feel like it and not care when someone else comes to mind. that free feeling of wanting you when i need you and keeping you at bay when i don't. but i don't like how i'm always looking forward to seeing you, and seeing you smile at me. it makes me feel dependent on you. i hate how i'm always looking out for you in places you might possibly be at. but i miss our convos. i do. i miss how we used to talk about random shit all the time and now its just about me. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i miss you la kental.

fuyoooo.

2008-05-14T20:57:00.002+08:00

i think it shows. i've been feeling at the dumps for the longest time, only relatively cheering up when i'm near my loved ones. i feel bad, i've been feeling snappy and easily agitated. i don't care at this point of time, but i feel like i'm forced to care lest i come across as uncaring. these few days i've been feeling really annoyed at every few seconds because people seemed amazingly childish and immature these few days. i'm an emotional wreck as of now and i'm honestly tired. everything that has been happening has not been helping a single bit and i'm seriously fucking drained.

i need sleep desperately but school has being so bad that i've been staying up against my sleepy eyes just to ensure i get things done. I AM TIRED.''

this picture is not to show of my irritating smile to to show how tired i am.

400th.

2008-05-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

maybe it's true i'm caught up on you. maybe there's a chance you'll get stuck on me too.

SMILE SMILE SMILE YANA. nothing is better than a smile.

i remember on saturday, M and i were watching CSI Miami together at izza's place and i was just telling her about how i love one of the character's jawline cos it's so.... defined and pretty. and she gave me a look.

me : noooo, tapi it's so straight and lawa gile nak mamps. kan mcm so nice to kiss the jaw.
M : ..... eeer.?
me : HAHAH no im seriousssss. don't you want to? your boyfriend?
M : i want just him to have a clean face.
me : AH YES. so when you give him a peck on the cheeks, you don't get digusted.
M : yesssyessssss.
me : i still want a boyfriend with a pretty jawline. i'll trail my fingers down it.
M : ah yelah.

so what if today was a bad day? at least i know erdiah will be there when i cry (: and M and everyone else. at least i know maira will ask me if i'm okay, and syafiq will laugh at me for crying. at least i know brammi will be ultimately sweet to me and hong will hug me. so what if i don't have you? i know they care, and i know you do too. so it makes the day all okay.

naomi is my new bff. and she is so damn right popular, i am so jealous. she can gelek, i so cant! *and bani will go, ah yelah* thanks to M, im staring at my bff again.

oni farid me and M engaged in this useless talk about (adams) apples this morning before maths lecture began. oni is so mean. and he stared at one of the guys apples. AHAHAH and then farid was self concious.

MENTALLY DISTURBING. since i'm watching it again, haha. M, i so had nightmares and i think tonight also i'm going to have them. ew. anyway, i told nas & nasri about it ! (((((:

crapshit life. says:
FUCK
crapshit life. says:
omg
maybe there's a chance. maybe it all ain't so bad. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
crapshit life. says:
suare sedp sia
maybe there's a chance. maybe it all ain't so bad. says:
bukan suare die la.
crapshit life. says:
aku was just listening to the voice
crapshit life. says:
skali tgk video
crapshit life. says:
FUCK
crapshit life. says:
wtf
crapshit life. says:
OMG
crapshit life. says:
SHIT
]
maybe there's a chance. maybe it all ain't so bad. says:
HAHAAAAAAAAA
crapshit life. says:
eh fuck muke disturbing sia!
maybe there's a chance. maybe it all ain't so bad. says:
i knowwwwww.
crapshit life. says:
mcm muke elfie!
crapshit life. says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
crapshit life. says:
FUCK KLAKA SIA

siak je nas hahahahahahahah but its damn funny.

ive lost count the number of times ive stared at naomi (:

MANIFESTASI NAMPAK MANIFESTASI NAMPAK

2008-05-11T21:43:00.003+08:00

TPJC Production

Manifestasi 2008

Malay Production with performances by ;

SATRIA KIRANA (dikir guys)

AYUNAN DEWI (dikir girls. US OMG OMG ! :D )

KAYANGAN LESTARI (tarian)

SINAR KENCANA (combo band)

5 BUCKS for DRAMA PLUS ALL OF US.

CHEAP LIKE BUY FISH AT MARKET OKAY. COME COME COME.

wahwahwah. dengar2 irritating? i want to join the sea of people who are promoting manifestasi on their blogs ah.

anyway mothers' day was celebrated at escape theme park. i must have misunderstood something about my (older) brother because his teen life seemed so happening with amazing people and amazing places but i'm shocked he hasn't visited escape and it was his first time earlier like OMG kentaaaaal.

k da i need to cook for the family who is watching ARSENAL (WHO JUST SCORED BTW OH YAY) :D

BYE Y'ALL HAHAHAHAHAH

forlorn and lost.

2008-05-10T20:21:00.003+08:00

this is not something everyone needs to know but i hope my uncle gets better. i don't even know if i'm going to be seeing him at all thanks to all the conflicts that has been going in this house but i honestly hope with my heart that he gets better. i was so worried when nenek told me this morning (right before econs test wahwahwah) and i spent time during the test thinking about him and his condition. sure, we aren't that close - but he's still my uncle and i still care & love. i am not ready to lose someone that fast. the tears were coming out, but i'm keeping them back in. nothings for sure yet. things will get better, he will recover, insyAllah.

school has been hectic with the trainings for manifest. everything is coming together, slowly but surely. three weeks to make it all perfect. boils down to plus/minus 9 trainings. the end of the month will be the perfect day for all, will be the best gift you can ever give to me. the day everyone puts our differences aside, where all of MCS will come together and bond, will come together and stand as one. we will bow with pride, with tears in our eyes that everything has come to an end, and there'll never be another night like this. manifest 2008 will be amazing - that i trust, with all my heart. i will give my best in dikir and i hope it all comes in place, together (: fitted nicely like a perfect piece of jigsaw puzzle.

dancefest is coming up, and i remember staying back almost every possible night just staying with izza and helping out. i remember declining to join FBC and saw the fall of FBC in front of my eyes. then, i saw the rise of FBC once again and i am so proud of my girls (:

manifest, (watching) dancefest, then the preparation for prelims and then A's. the route has been planned, all i'm left with is to follow through and not fall back. that, i'm not so sure of.

stress nampak?
stress nampak?
stress ke?
stress ke?

i shall go watch gossip girl to cheer myself up. chuck bass, here i come (:

sicccccccccccccck

2008-05-07T12:15:00.002+08:00

i remember telling les on sunday night that i want to fall sick so i don't have to be in school on monday. and boy, did i really fall sick. monday was the worst day in school life ever for me. physics was superbly unbearable because the pain that i was feeling was bad. like seriously. i walked out of class, dying to find someone to accompany me while i lie down in pain but no one came to the rescue, haha so i sat alone at the wooden benches at the first floor and lie there in pain.

gp remedial was bad bad bad. my back was hurting so much to the point that i cried. i got home and had a fever of 38.3 degrees. my body was burning and the night was so cold. i smsed a few people in pain and thank you for replying (: that was one of the sweetest things i've heard this week (granted, it was only a day into the week then)

anyway, happy birthday anisa lover. you're the horny kinky dirty sweetheart i have etched in my heart. happy 19th love. (: and hahahahahahaha i'm not not not surprised :D

i have two days mc but i feel like taking the rest of the week of. my body hurts soooo much :( i miss school but i miss my health more. ugh.

happy birthday hotstuff

2008-05-04T21:23:00.003+08:00

this post goes out the hotstuff out there. ( :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CESC FABREGAS !

you're like amazingly hot stuff. and sex on legs and you're damn mighty fine esp when you play beautiful soccer so hello there sexy. i wonder why you're not playing on your birthday but seeing you with hleb and flamini laughing away is good enough, yo ! ( :

hold on to your words cause talk is cheap. says:
daaaamn i think spanish men are hot sex ( :
Nasri- says:
i prefer arab men

HAHAHAHAH YELAH NAS ! arab men hot for you righttttttttt.

sayang krg.

2008-05-03T16:39:00.004+08:00

i want an arsenal jersey. i really do. i want an overrrrsized big one so i'll look like i woke up from my boyfriend's bed and donned on his shirt. hahahahahah. but no, seriously - i want an arsenal jersey.

it's probably a little too late for amends, but i'm sorry anyway. things are now way to far for me to turn it around. like i said, i am a flawed human and this is one of my flaws. i'm sorry once again, friend.

dikir was at pasirris park today. it was a hot hot hot hot hot like mad day today. and we were sweating while walking there, and it took us close to 15 minutes to walk to the area. we saw jellyfish before reaching though ( : its so pretty and it was like a whole bunch of them. the blue ones were really pretty.

i want to go to the beach. and just sit at the breakwaters and enjoy the breeze ( :

there was this really adorable cute eurasian boy with his dad. i so wanted to kidnap him and bring him home, haha. after they left ;

me : that's it, i'm going to marry a matsaleh.
maz + izza + others : depends if he wants to marry you (and tons more)

such true friends, hahahaha. yelah, i so love my girls ( :

i dreamt of yuni a few days ago :D

2008-05-01T17:32:00.002+08:00

i'm glad i stayed up last night because if i didn't, i'll still be in the dark (: and caveman, i'm not sure if you'll read this but maybe you do. but if you do, we should have more decent conversations, haha. and don't feel bad about whatever i told you smalam because i'm beyond that, and i'm much moreee matured now(: anyway, don't get so pissed okayy.

anyway i still want to go for ernie's sportdays and offer my twin the moral support she needs because i believe with all my heart that may16 is going to be the bomb. if ali, chiak or reza is not coming with me, i shall drag ANYONE there because i know i WILL get lost if i go alone. and i want to go for ernie's artfest too, though i know i'll prolly be bored to death with the exception of ernie dancing :D

i shall go out and get myself a pretty shoe that i saw earier. and also, find out the final prices about the class tee. thennn........ try to do my work. hah, what a loser, doing hw on a holiday.

2008-04-30T23:49:00.002+08:00

people should quit being so jealous. and quit bitching about people publicly. why do people like creating trouble when they could have held the bitching for a teeny bit and then bitch with their close friends and avoid the trouble altogether? ... i really don't get it.

sports day was kinda amazing (: heron actually has very enthu people. like fadhil, ben, nas, fuad and more. haha. nas and i were laughing our heads off watching ben hitting the dustbin, i swear he's so damn kental plus funny :D

its kinda sad though how fast runners do not get to be first/second cos they got their baton late.

man is a selit. haha. he came over to heron, sat with les and me and then began cheering for heron too. all because he was in his heroes shirt because the weird company didn't print enough for falcon (his house) and heron. weeeeeird. its kinda unfair, really. i am actually proud of heron.

..... napfa schedule is out. actually, why am i so shocked? haha. thank god i'm still 17 (:

2008-04-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

Like Fiza's blog says, things will fall into place. Do not expect anything, because when it comes to you unexpected, you blink in shock, then you smile in appreciation.

I was shocked to get your message today, it was the last thing on my mind, the last thing I expected. Thank you sweetheart, for making me smile.

I wrote a whole lot of shit but I decided that it shouldn't be shared in such a public blog. oh well, i'll just keep it to myself then. Lepaking at Izza's place is amazing, I can just fall asleep at her house and waste my Saturdays away haha. Oh yay, we're gonna have dikir on every Sat noww, plus drama cast too and Satria Kirana too :D oh yay, that will be like 3/4 of MCS down in Sunpla every Sat. If tarian comes down too, wooh we're gonna have all of MCS down hahahaha.

okaaaaaaaaay, sundays should be a studying daaay! (: i need to do GP yo. okay bye. (:

2008-04-26T22:48:00.002+08:00

Dear God,

Why is it that you try to test my patience and my willingness to stay strong every single time? Why do you put me to the test to see if I'll stand strong? Why couldn't you put eveyone through the same thing that I go through and make them feel what it's like to be me for such a long period of time? Dear God, I am not questioning about your decisions but why do other people find happiness in every single thing they do? But I only find happiness if I cajole my heart into it. I am definitely not unhappy about life but at the certain times, it just gets really draining, oh dear One. Maybe, then again, it's just me. Oh God, light up my heart and head, show me the right way because I trust in you.

Thank you,
Yana.

And the award for the best lie goes to you!
For makin' me believe
That you could be faithful to me.
Let's hear your speech.

2008-04-23T21:46:00.002+08:00

I am pissed because MSN will not work with me right now. And to think I want to talk to certain people online but I just cant because the MSN is being a huge bitch.

I am so tired of school.

Ah MSN is working now.

I have this bad feeling towards someone. Not that I can help it, because I really can't. I don't want to feel this way, really, I don't. But.. Can I just say things happen? I'm trying hard to refrain from feeling this way, and I hope it works. But for the meantime, I am just really sorry if I've not been as chatty with you.

Anyway, Hamdi is kental, yo. Haha. So much for his Super12, or Sensational ('MAK PANJANG SIA' or so, said by him) and my Sexy26. Hahahaha. He's funny la.

This certain boy creeps me out. No, I do not appreciate the attention nor concern that I get from him. Neither am I enjoying the closeness or how he whispers my name because it seriously creeps me out. I am at a point where I feel like I want to cry because ... its just eeky.

K dah, I'm not even supposed to be here cos like..... I have tons to bitchassfuckshit homework to do. (i just felt like swearing).

2008-04-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

i can never be half as funny as mazni suparjan and i'm so depressed. sigh. her blog makes me laugh SO much. k da.

anyway, took pink form today and left school. i was so not feeling well, and once again the doctor asked me if i was pregnant. indirectly though. the previous doctor was more direct though, and asked me straight out. HAAA, like i would let my future go down the drain with a baby in tow during my A's.

nas did well for his phy test earlier :D woohooo, despite him only knowing it from me the night before. gooodie ((((:

i already can tell ima not enjoy tmr lesson, although i don't know why.

and MAZNI, YES WE GOT DIKIR ON SAT. (((: so i guess we're meeting the boys too, since they're having dikir as well.
waterhub on fri. ill prolly bring my brothers camera since it has pretty colors and all and stuff. ya.

ernie doesnt recognize man. luqmanulhakim, even when man is likeeee...... dan's friend. and dan is like her... adik/friend(?). ernie is a failure at recognizing people HAHAH. oh well, my girlfriend is kental, so im not shocked.

i feel better knowing you know it all, twin (: sayaaaaaaang ernie.

songfest 2008, yo.

2008-04-19T12:43:00.003+08:00

the makciks which i've come to love.

my preeeeeeeetty junior yo.

crazy tkg girls.

oi, sayang ni due.

my makciks.

faaaaaaaaaad, the ma'am of manifest, yo.

this super selit s12 boy makes me smile.

my pretty namesake junior.

nas is a pimp sia. look at how happy he is.

loveslovesloves.

hello boy.

pretty afi !

i love this pic because hizam and i are blurred.

songfest was crazy shit. i found out things i didnt want to find out and spazzed and swooned over it. like OMG. people should stick to who they are and not behave differently. because, yo, you were hot yesterday boy. and no, i never wanted to view you as hot, but you made me changed my mind, and you made me scream and shout and smile at you as an individual. ape siol, things are not supposed to be like this HAHAHAH.

i am going to meet ernie and catch up with all the bitching we've missed out ! ARGH I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU TWIN.

2008-04-16T21:20:00.002+08:00

the noble in you takes in all the blame and the hurt. put on a smile and fake it through. once again, someone took over you, overshadowed you.

take a step back and let someone walk.

i want to watch a play. desperately. will someone go with me? june. about the ironies and shitass in life.

2008-04-13T12:43:00.002+08:00

i felt so so so so bad that i didn't meet up with dong, joyce, nette and sherman aft my performance on friday but i was SO drained out. the performance was amazing, but before that i was scared shit about performing. les, man, helmi and oni didn't help abit !!!! esp les the night before.

bani made me smile throughout the performance and i didn't feel like i was forced to smile as i was during trainings (: the whole 9 minutes just passed by like that. i missed a step but i think i wasn't that obvious. ayunan dewi is SO much love. i keep staring at our photos, and i'm glad i'm a part of AD. berdiri, sehati, sejiwa.

i went home TIRED TIRED TIRED like crazy. and slept shortly after because i couldn't refrain myself. calls from sherman went unanswered T-T sorry !! i felt asleep on izza, ayn and i can't remember who else while i was on msn.

part of the reason i didn't push myself to go out with the people that i haven't met in the LONGEST time was because i had a lecture in ajc the next morning. and knowing myself, had i been out that night, i would have not made it for the lecture.

i woke up SO late ytd that the bus actually left without me. but i got on it eventually and i shall not elaborate on it.

i have minimal minimal minimal tolerance for everyone these few days so if i've been snappy or rude, im sorry.

fuck i cant find my JILID B and i cant fucking do my sastera hw. YAHOOOO. dgr2 kene pass up tmr. and i have econs. and maybe gp. plus maths. and fuck tmr is MTPS and also GP remedial plus phy remedial on tues and my paper is with maz.

i shall go and stare at ayunan dewi photos to make myself happy.
oh and yes, i got back my pw result.

385th post.

2008-04-10T21:20:00.002+08:00

nasri and i are having a pointless conversation about ego. HAHA. and khalis pretends to be a gentleman to me. i think '91 babies have something wrong up there.

and i accompanied man during his break cos he sorang. then nadz and ayn screamed at me to "cukop2 la". haha padahal i dok ngan man baru brape minit ah. anyway i did lots of watching today :D umi called me a cheekolee/chikolee. and i'm a bimbo. and i'm adrianna wow. HAHAH.

i skipped a small part of gp lecture and went out to sleep. and then slept again during sastera. and i jerked and woke up with a start and i would have laughed at my absurdness if everyone wasn't so concentrated in their work. i kept looking at one of them, desperately hoping they realised i woke up with a start like a gundu but no one laughed so i went back to sleep. i woke up and i heard bani's voice going "eh ade org call ah" then i realised she was holdin on to my hp and no more song were playing.

are we okay, or are we not?
it's close to a week.

2008-04-08T20:43:00.002+08:00

yesterday.

yana : (honestly) i think i'm irritating.
dynn : YOU THINK. EH NAS, YANA THINKS SHE'S IRRITATING SIA. THINK.
nas : well, you thought right sia.
yana : you're not supposed to say that sia. you're supposed to say " no la yana, u just friendly"
nas : no la. you're just......(pause) FUCKING irritating.

today.

dynn has a pm which says not to add me at my new email.

i have the best friends ALIVE. hahahahahahah. assholes sia those two.

it's love all around.

2008-04-06T17:12:00.003+08:00

yesterday was such a blast (: it was tiring but no doubt fun :D

pidato was cool. i spent time with dynn at the cafe talking, eating and me taking photos of me staring at him sleeping haha. and us, together with hisham talked about sexual stuff. haha. it was fun. i can't see myself talking about it with the sexy 26 though. i can already forsee aiman getting very very uncomfortable, so izza and everyone else will raise their eyebrows wondering why i need to talk about such things, haha.

anyway, i got home and slept before leaving to meet the rest of the girls at 6. one hour rule really do apply here, haha. anyway, when we got there, nothing was set up yet. edi was getting the fire ready and all so we girls left for the beach to watch the sunset. though once we reached the beach, all we bothered about were pictures :D and hahahaha everyone groaned when i on jiwang songs but they ended up singing along when it was played. ape jerrr.

then we got back cos anisa couldn't stop complaining, and then the food were ready but non edible, i swear. geeeeeeeee.the chicken was ALL BLACK YO. so I TOOK OVER :D chey, macam paham. then the boys there all went to watch soccer, since liverpool and arsenal was on. nazri was with his laptop, haha. oh and izzat and faisal and fred and everyone else was there too.

then more girls came like aisyah, farhanah and everyone else. so it was a massive bbq. then nasri, khalis, sabrina and aisha came too. ! (: then shortly after, maz nisa ayn nas wanted to leave then sabrina and aisha wanted to leave too ): so like half an hr after they decided to leave, then did they leave. haha. we took phhhhooootos :D

then izza and i went over to talk to nasri and khalis. haha it was fun talking to these boys. khalis has a memory timespan of a goldfish. and nasri has a huge egoooooo :D hahaha. we talked abt nonsense though.

then izza wanted to go, so we left ^---^ it was great.

got home and talked to khalis online. that dude behaves like he doesn't have any sins and we kinda bitched about alot of people haha. he's funny :D okay, i should get started on my gp. urgh. BYEEEEEEEE :D

2008-04-04T21:07:00.002+08:00

i had the worst day of my life 2 days ago. i kept crying nonstop in school though i didn't know the reason why. things lifted up after some point in time but i still wasn't in the mood to talk.

i may talk and laugh, but i feel extremely tired. like seriously. i am too tired to talk to anyone or even try to figure myself out. it's tiring to try and keep finding that one thing that you may never find.

maybe years down the road, i will find that one thing that i am finding now. but now, i'm just lost in this weird world with an unknown road.

the one thing that i've learnt about life is : it goes on. no matter what.

i am going to grit my teeth and hold out till the end (:
because life is wonderful at the end of the road.

2008-04-04T01:56:00.002+08:00

So Beautiful - Pete Murray

God, my fingers burn now when I think of touching your hair.

You have changed so much that I don't know if I can call you and tell you I care.

And I would love to bring you down,

Plant your feet back on the ground.

I Lost You - Katherine McPhee

damn it's so hard to face

i lost you

why'd i throw your heart away?

now i'm going down

like i'm on the ground

i lost you,

i lost you baby.

i'm sitting here wishing i could change the past

knowing deep inside i can't get my baby back

i lost you

i lost you.

it was a bad day with a bad beginning with a relatively nicer ending.

2008-04-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

i am very disapointed. i can't believe i even teared a little knowing about it. that one person that i really wanted to be there for me.

When I stand in a crowded room

I feel alone like nobody's there

And when you talk cold to me

I can see your breath in the air

It's taking it's toll on me

In the bathroom taking showers

So you don't see me cry

Baby it's such a crime

I've tried to feel confident

I'm bitter, you're not making sense

I missed you till you almost took my sanity

I'm starting a new verse

Like poetry

You're hiding behind the words you speak

Changing the words of the story

You say you don't love me then say that you love me

2008-03-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

i was really at the point of giving up. just a few days ago, i was really hopeless and all i wanted to do was pass time and get the day over and done with. not really bothering what came before and what's coming next. i didn't care for the moment or any moment in fact. i knew my life was fucked up and i was too tired to mend it back into place.

it was just a be there for the sake of being there kind of thing for these past few days.

but the girls didn't just leave me alone. they were there for me, holding on to me for the very few small steps i took. despite being a cranky bitch crying my fucking heart out and hating the world, they stood by me. so thank you girls, for holding on, for believing.

i realise that i'm very much a very flawed human. so i sincerely thank those who haven't given up on me cos if i was someone else, i would have just given up on myself.

but life's been throwing small pleasures at me. i know this is not going to be for long so i'm going to suck up and bask in the small pleasures im getting and then grit my teeth and stuck through this fucked up life.

because at the end of the day, i know i will have someone i can lean on. so i'm going to close my eyes and pretend its a good life while ignoring the stupid little tension that have been bulding up in the house and in the world.

2008-03-27T22:04:00.000+08:00

this is what you get for being a complacent fuck.
baik ah yana.

2008-03-25T21:14:00.002+08:00

really, i want to give up whatever i'm doing now and crawl into a deep black hole and suffocate to death there. i cried like fuck earlier, cos life is seriously shit.

how dare life dangle me with happiness only to snatch it back when i'm plunging for it - leaving me to fall to the pit? i get angrier by the minute, sicker of life and more disappointed. i'm not disappointed that i have no happiness to begin with, but rather at the fact fucking life decided to make fun of me.

it isn't funny anymore when i keep facing hard times in my life. it used to be funny at one point, but now it isn't anymore.

i want to kick and whine, and cry my heart out. i have not cried that bad like i did just now since 3 years ago. the heart, hurt so fucking bad. i sobbed like crazy, my eyes turned so puffy. after everyone left for PE, i turned to pe, crying out my heart to her, telling her "i don't even want to be here, anymore."

i looked up and saw her eyes red and i can't help feeling i truly don't belong in tpjc. i sobbed pathetically even more when izza came. it's really sad how life is so sad and mundane and lifeless now. really, its stupid how the most important thing in life (by far, singapore) is the one thing that doesn't bring your happiness.

all that being said, i know i will get up tomorrow, continue tomorrow like today was. it's really a waste of my time, i believe. the simplest things in life are the happiest things, ah fuck that. because really, you don't get your cert, you don't live here.

fuck fuck fuck im pissed and sad and i want to die.

2008-03-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

im like honestly lazy to upload about the discovery centre trip haha i shall do that soon enough once ive resized all the photos cos they're major huge ass big. geez.

soccer is damn interesting. i love soccer. haha i mean arsenal. and toress. but whatever. like MANY people say, its all cos i watch the dude playing, not for the game :D haha.

anyway, as much as i do nottttt say this very often, i love my abg. he makes the house so much livier. is that even the spelling? and i miss penyerapan so bad. like maz, izza, nadz and me got on the chartered bus for us to boonlay mrt and we all sat at the back and kept saying "ehhhh penyerapan! i miss penyerapan!!!!!!! eh we 4 again!" and just recalling where the boys sat, haha.

oh yes, i knew i'll miss it but i didn't know i'll miss it this bad. like farid say, aku syg korang budak2 blakang bus :D

pretty picture tainted.

2008-03-22T22:48:00.002+08:00

would you try and take a chance with me?

~~science~~discovery centre update with be tomorrow. laptop is a bitch and internet is sucky. gdnight lovers, im dead ass tired.

2008-03-19T22:11:00.002+08:00

i will not be surprised if i flunk my sastera paper tmr. i wish it was a morning paper instead then i would be using this time to mug. but no, cos i'm as complacent as a shitpooploser, im not mugging now. just thinking i have hours tmr before the paper makes me SUPER complacent. like as if i'm a A student for my sastera. irony,irony.

4 papers down. just one more to go. i can't wait for this to be over.

OH and i cant retake my H1 paper only cause i'm a H2 student. baik ah. nothing less than a distinction for H2 then.

i can see myself screw up, already. but no, i want to change that.

I love the FOUR.

2008-03-14T20:29:00.003+08:00

so like two days ago, i met up with the lovers. i missed ernie like super bad and all i know when i met them was reza and ali screaming at each other about how pissed off chiak would get. it was such a funny scene at the mrt station cos ali got dressed for a movie in tamp and chiak got dressed for a movie in town. (: so there were screaming and vulgarities flying around in the mrt station, haha.

so in the end we got to kallang anyway. and watched 10,000BC. the movie theatre was damn damn damn cold and despite holding on to ali's arms and making myself warm, it was damn cold. i even slid my feet which were freezing into ernie's legs and she almost screamed at me cos it was freezing. i bet the 5 of us were more focused on making ourselves warm rather than watching the show.

ali talked to me about random things during the show and ernie also and i was telling her about how we should have watched leap years instead and ali disagreeing cos you don't watch it with a big group but with your girlfriends and whatnot and it all happened in the theatre. it wasn't that great of a show, chiak got pissed at the ending but it was alright.

but if i had known that 10,000BC was gonna be like this, i would not have minded watching leap years for the second time. and ali kept pushing me for the fact i went to watch it without him. and that meano of a guy pulled me all the way to the front of the counter cos i couldnt read what was on the screen. and left me there like a lost child.

after the movie, we had dinner and ernie and i went to shop for a while. then we went back to bedok then tamp and sat at starbucks and talked till like 11pm. on the way to bedok, ali bitched about the J1s in our school. and animatedly he just kept asking me if i knew the kids and i was like, eeer yeah and i don't like some of the girls and he continued bitching. i had wanted to tell ali about one of the guys but cause he was so busy complaining to chiak and reza, i completely forgot. and ernie said our sch alot of politics hahahaa.

oh well, and i never knew ali changed his phone till i was holding on to it and went, "whose phone sia." and umm haha we bitched more about the girls in our school in starbucks. ali is an asshole sia for the girls that he bitched about. and i would have thought he's the type that goes " ah whatever ah about them, who cares." well, he used to be like that.

i love all of them, anyway. okay i love yuni. haha this is so random.

the leap years.

2008-03-10T20:07:00.002+08:00

i remember watching the trailer for it and going "damn i need/want to watch this. so bad!" and when there were talks by the girls of going to watch it together, i dismissed it as another of our nakplantapitakpernahmenjadi outing.

oh boy was i damn glad that our first movie together (seem so pathetic now that we've been together over a year), was the leap years.

the movie was amazing. i'll rate it 4.5. i definitely did not have high hopes for a local homegrown movie, but it blew me away (: amazing. you could hear the sniffles in the threatre and boy, we all girls were crying. i kept turning to izza during the quotes shown during the movie and went "DAMN THAT IS SO TRUE" and then sunk back into my seat and drowned myself in the immense pleasure of watching pretty lilin and hot ananda on screen.

"coincidence is god's way of remaining anonymous"

" one often meets his destiny on a path that he takes to avoid it"

and more that were equally sweet and whatnot and i fell in love with the movie so damn much. it was nothing short of amazing. and if you havent caught it yet, go do it with your girlfriends!

the movie showed the ego and stubborness of a singapore girl. typical of what you seen in your girlfriends. pretending to be happy and strong in front of the guy and breaking down just round the corner.

i cried so much, but not so bad. if you get what i mean. haha. but overall, im overly happy by the fact i went and watched it with my girls :D

my holidays are planned out.

tues - classes.

wed - outing with fab 5. :D FINALLY.

thurs - NIE-NTU seminar

fri - classes.

SAT&SUN- ENDLESS MUGGING.

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak.

S26.

2008-03-08T23:56:00.002+08:00

Dee bought of us donuts when she came back to school yesterday. Yummy donuts ! And my retarded girls decided to sing a song, for the birth of Sexy26, haha.

Results for A Level MT were bad, don't even bother asking. I still don't know if I want to retake this. I'll make up my mind soon enough.

Hilmi asked me about my MT result when he and everyone else walked past me. Man said, "A lah, A..... Yana dapat A!". I stared at Man while he said that. He was one of the first few who knew my marks. He turned to me later and gave me a sweet encouraging smile.

Today was such a waste of my Saturday. I did nothing. I am going to mug tomorrow. I can't afford Us and Ss in my CT. Neither do I want Es. Mug mug mug, like no lifer.

370th.

2008-03-07T21:52:00.002+08:00

This is the post where you press PrtSc and paste it on Paint so you can save it and keep it. Be sure to make copies on your thumbdrive and more cos if you laptop reboots, you'll never find another entry like this, ever again Izzalina bte Mohd Ali.

I look around in juniors' blogs and lives and realise they're missing their old school and friends ohsomuch. Kinda made me recall back my J1 and tried to remember if I went through such a phase. But I didn't. I enjoyed my J1, without wringing and cringing about the fact I missed ESSS so bad. Sure, I miss the close few ones but they are always there; there's really nothing much to grieve about.

But, all in all, its actually thanks to Izza. She was that one that I actually felt worth stepping into a new school for. To see such a comforting fimiliar face in a whole new environment. The days I missed Ernieza Zailani so badly, were the days Izza made me smile. The days where I missed ESSS so bad , were the days Izza's voice drowned out the naggy feeling in me. I missed the total sarcasm she brings out, the lame but so-izza's jokes at the lunch table. For once, it was refreshing to have someone who doesn't spite people. She was almost someone I could never be. I could not know someone, but still dislike them. But not her. It kinda made me reflect on what sort of a person I am, wanting to change.

But her. Just her presence was enough. She's the epitome of fun, of laughter, of bonding. I'm quite at a loss actually, without her in class. I miss her even more so during GP; we used to crap and draw on each other's paper. It just really isn't the same anymore.

I miss her despite seeing her everyday. The changes that Change bring about.

And Izzalina bte Mohd Ali, every single day I lament on how irritating you are, on how I would never find friends like you in the Uni, on how you're deaf cos you can't hear yourself - but really it's all just a simple I love you.
Thanks for being the one there for these 3 years or 7years, where we both disappeared from each other for a whole 4 years. It's amazing how time didn't change any of us. (: Sungguhku sayang Izza. Thank YOU.

never make me repeat that slushy mushy paragraph all over again :D
okay go prtsc now izza!

dah dah, jangan nak mengada-ngada kat sini.

2008-03-05T23:53:00.004+08:00

Mom came in my room today and asked me if I had something wrong. In my sleepy state, I brushed it off and said, no la. "Must tell ah, if got."

Then I fell asleep while reading my Econs suplementary readings, and she came in the room and asked if she could off the lights. "No," I said sleepily. She came in, sat on the bed, and touched my cheeks. Is there something wrong? Are you troubled? You can confide in me.

No la, you're just thinking too much. Nothing la.

If only you'd knew. Not that I would confide in you, I can never see how I could do that - but I'm okay. I'm still hanging on, living, breathing. I'll be fine, I always get better, somehow.

On a much better happier note of life, dikir was fun today. Zahida and TKG girlfriends are a mad bunch of people. Liana (Liyana?) was my junior and haha she's so cute doing the ragams (: We did stupid games like.... How many mehmeh, and Johnny and more and haha I see dikir getting more ..... fun by the day. Sahu came down (: Fun fun fun. Izza, Maz, Ruz, Maira and me did some bitching in the MLEP room while waiting for Dayah. Well, not Maira cos she din know anything and just listened. HAHA.

But anyway, Econs in 2 days. I've not sat down and study studied for it, despite me knowing the blue book rather well. I'm afraid for the fact I'm a complacent fish for Econs. If I do not get my B (or A, of course), serve me right cos I behave like a bossy prissy old bitch, acting like I know everything and anything about Econs.

Complacency gets you nowhere yana. Wake up la.

what is a genuine friendship?
when you argue about stupid things and end up laughing;
that goes out to izza and maznini (:

2008-03-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

today is such a bodoh day la siol. i'm so pissed off with situations, with things are going on in my life. my life is so messed up like fucking shit and everything is going oh so wrong. bodo sial.

i had wanted to sleep through the night today, but no one can sleep through the raised voices and animosity in the so-called haven. that hatred that has been building up for months, just exploded tonight. stupid fuckshit.

what's more saddening to see someone you love crying on the bed, trying to hide her tears. and someone else not bothering. i'm almost at the verge of finding you heartless. stupid family drama that has to go on NOW, is making me oh so damn stress. i can't do the stupid probability tutorial, which i'm sure is damn easy. i'll probably go cheebye tmr when i realise how easy it actually is. but now, my brain is just not functioning.

econs is the only thing i'm good at, and i beg you not to take that from me. thanks to your senseless fights, i can't understand a shit about my econs.

you think funny ah sia when you cause so much hurt. i don't feel like talking to you. one thing for sure, i don't want to grow up like you. lies, manipulation, hurt. im not going thru that la siol. ill probably feel damn guilty when i read this tomorrow but for now, i just want to get away from here. from this so called home. i swear if tp had a dorm, i would stay there, not at home.

do you realise the longest conversation we had with each other is when we fight? how ridiculous. muke yana kan tak bawak rezeki. fuck la sial.

weekend fever

2008-03-02T01:21:00.003+08:00

Every weekend I waste it the same way. I either sleep through my afternoons or catch up with shows online and then spend the night watching soccer or watching show online again.

Damn, the night was so intense watching Arsenal going against A.Villa. I hate the fact that people scream about how badly the soccers are playing. The fact that your sorry asses are on the couch instead of sweating on some field should really shut you up already.

Anyway although I am fully aware that we're only leading by a point, it's better for a draw than to lose huh.

Today was out with Nisa and Nadz with others to Pulau Ubin. Pretty and informative, definitely. I enjoyed the air there. Singapore is polluted.

Pesta sukan was fun. I was all wet and drenched especially for the water bomb cos dear Dynn thinks its fun to pour a whole basin of water on me. Thank god I find joy in being wet during wet games. And then Farid added on to the wetness (doesn't make much of a diff actually) when he hit me with another waterbomb. I have no idea who was the first who hit me from the back cos it was fucking painful but whatever la.

We sabo-ed Raz and I poured eggs on her haha. Then I skipped the "dinner" they provided and went to bath in the J Block and scared myself shitless with stupid stories cos I was alone. Then the showertap would just not stop and went on with the flow of water. Then while I tried to dry myself and my tee at the handdryer, Mrs Koh came in and we both scared the shit out of each other. Hahaha.

And we (group D) won johan. Bite that, bitch.

Sh. You'll never know if its true.

2008-02-28T20:07:00.002+08:00

Sastera was kekek. Stupidity runs in all of us. Stupid jokes made about other people is the funniest.

Fiq, Jna and I bitched about the new minahs in the school during our break earlier. Haha. I know Fiq wont even read this (i think la) but then again haha I'd like to say I'm sorry for all the times I make you mrajok. Big mosquitoe(inside joke) mrajok k? :D

I know I've never been close to Izzat much less talk to him, but I do miss seeing him around school. Just like how I miss seeing Mal around in school.

But of course, I miss Nurul Diyana binte Azmi more.

I love staring at Satria Kirana's photos on TPJC.net cos they look so....... (insert something) with their eyeliners. HAHAHA. And nice clothes of course.

r drhs r wrwm'g pmld blf kvihlmzoob, hl r dlfow xlmgrmfv orprmt blf. xlh r ivzoob wrw uli jfrgv hlnv grnv. groo r pmvd dszg blf ivzoob dviv orpv.

Facade.

2008-02-26T19:53:00.002+08:00

It's sad to see how much you miss out on your friends life just because distance between the both of you seems to grow with each passing day.

It's sad to see someone you thought you knew, become this certain vague shadow of her true self. To see her laughing it off away, and not really knowing what she feels. But when you get that little insight on her, you realise whatever you thought you knew about her, just wash away with that false impression.

It's sad when someone you know become someone you knew.

I thought I knew, but I definitely thought wrong.

Kite Runner.

2008-02-24T15:05:00.003+08:00

Despite the number of times, I never fail to tear up at that line.

For you, a thousand times over.

Amir : How do you know?
Hassan : I just know.
Amir : But how do you know?
Hassan : Have I ever lied to you?
Amir : I'll never know.
Hassan : .... I'd rather eat dirt.

Just how far does loyalty go?

just for you... a thousand times over.

moderate.

2008-02-21T20:29:00.002+08:00

It was akward but that was my choice. I don't want to speak to you, nor look at you. I want you to realise, but even I know I'm playing that childish game again. Whatever.

Today's lunch or whatever was such a bitching session. We bring out the worst in Aiman. He's far worst at bitching than...... Umi. Not that Umi bitches about alot, but ... Aiman can't reach the level of Jannah, Izza, Nadz or any of the girls for that matter, but he's getting there.

Maz and I had such a good time at Century Square earlier. All those stupid laughs and giggles in some shop. All the laughing we did, me singing Penyu Kuning, me being sumbang till some mat turned and stared, ohgosh. And us doing the stupid "MAAAAAAAAK" thing in our most irritating voice ever.

Happy advanced birthday to my darling girlfriend, Nurul Jannah Bte Azeman [:

He's so opposed by many, but I refuse to let that stop my daily giggles.

Wheeeee, ILY too.

2008-02-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

I felt so loved during VDay. The numerous chocs and gifts and flowers. Thank you.

I scrolled through my smses today. Hahah I think I am pretty much loved by tons of people. There were many messages with "sayang..." I think I've been pretty emo these days, so I'd like to say I'm actually fine (:

Please don't leave. Who's gonna provide me with girlish giggles? I'm gonna be so sad ):

[:

2008-02-10T23:09:00.000+08:00

This is for one of my favorite girls. After that bad dream I had, I want to say I lubbbbbbbber you :D

The past 4 days have been a ride. I've been slacking my ass off and I have not done anything worthwhile except to catch up with my Japanese drama online. Darn ass good, I swear. And I think now I should get all my focus on studies.

Jannah's making me darn jealous. I wanna watch PS ILY also!

I don't know.

2008-02-09T02:44:00.000+08:00

Firstly, Happy birthday Razali (:
Happy sweet 18.

I feel wasted. I know things are now turning around, finally opening my eyes to them. Replaced. Something so hurtful. But it's not as if I don't know about it. But I go through the same phase everyday; that I still love you & you do too. It's really delusional, isn't it?

I should really start to wake up and face the world.

Bitter.

2008-02-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

Fuck. Because life loves throwing things at you at wrong timings, a person just comes along and gets pissed off with me cos I'm pissed off with life and apparently took it out on her. I'm sorry Nadzie. It was just wrong timing, I'm sorry.

Fuck with family dramas. Reality of life rapes you of your innocence, and taints your idea of what a seemingly normal life is about. About friendship, about happiness. Everyone's who is having a good life is either self-delusional or either best friends with the monster called Life. The irony of life fucks you upside down. I'm bitter about life now.

I guess I have been self-delusional all my life, thinking life was actually a playground, where it just rains once in a while, and you can't play at the playground during those times. Because it actually isn't.

Damn, as much of an irony this sounds, I feel like puffing. Like I need a cig now. Fuck, I bet I won't even know how to hold it properly much less enjoy it. But who cares.

I am going to post about yesterday on another day, when I'm actually feeling better. I'm not going to post about happy things on a bad day and ruin my memories of it.

2008-02-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW LIM MING JIE.

my best best best best best partner (:

happy 18th!

i'll be back with more later.

I love Arsenal. haha.

2008-02-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

I think today's post is gonna be long one!

I think Ayunan Dewi anak-anak gile. We walked, (note the word) purposely chose to walk in the rain, and Izza told me to lead the way and walk under the "fountain" and we did and oh boy did we get so drenched. It didn't help that I was wearing my white TP shirt. But we had tremendous amount of fun and Maz, Izza and I went for a second round near the foyer's toilet (: Such times. Made me miss my childhood alot.

I've made up my mind not to give/make Razali his birthday present cos he threw a stone at me when I walked away from him and Azli and San and some boy. Asshole. Prangai macam Ali.

I think it's sad how you see someone so close to you, fall apart from her brother. To see how money matters more than blood ties, to see it with your eyes that the bond siblings have just die along with the fact that the brother is in debt with his own sister. What's even sadder is to see how the mother suffers from it, practically dropping very obvious hints for the sister to help her brother out. How heartbreaking it must be. InsyaAllah, me, abg and adik will not end up like that.

I look back at my entries and I think I've been super immature in the past, and I'm glad I'm growing up, not remaining the old me. I've dealt with problems so badly in the past that it ends up being even bigger.

I'm sorry you can't see the beauty that other people have. Personally, I'll tick of that boy of mine for thinking you're awesome and someone to always talk to, but then again I don't really know you. So there's no reason for me to go around and tell him or other people for that matter not be befriend with you. I'd like to believe you're amazing in your own individual way and it's just a matter of us not being friends. Honestly, if I'm not friends with Ernie, she would have been a bitch and a minah in my eyes and I would never go anywhere near her - and I'm sure we would be exchanging deathly stares at each other. And I used to think it was the same with you - my friend and I both agreed that was the case. But now, no - I don't think so. People can go around and befriend you, think you're amazing and all, but no one gets near amazing in my book once they start cussing someone they barely know. Sure, I may have bitched about you - somewhere last year, but he knows plus the fact I've never bitched about you openly. Still respected you then. But when you start cussing about someone openly, it's kinda unforgivable huh. But then again, I'm no one in this matter so it's up to you and my dear friend.

Farid's super super super funny. We have stupid msn convos haha. I'm going to plaaaaaaaan the makan thingy soon. Or it'll never happen haha.

Please remind me to post Maz's unglam photo in the toilet. Today I lazy ah.

let's we?

2008-01-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

yes I want to run away with you. to a place where it's serenity just puzzles me. leaves me to wonder why the rest of the world can't be an equally beautiful place. to find the sand beneath my feet, and the waves crashing its cold waters on my feet. to pick up beautiful seashells and giggle over them with you. to get wet in the waters, to laugh at our silly mistakes. for you to hold me when i'm tired of laughing, to lie on the sand, staring at the stars. to feel the cold breeze biting me but the warmth of your love just heating me up. to entwine our fingers together, to see you sleeping on my lap. to close my eyes and thank god I've met you, to wonder why we haven't met earlier. i want to kiss your eyelids when you're sleeping, i want to pull you close when you're down. to build sandcastles and pretend we're living it in. to do it all, just with you.

" Auntie, I want egg sandwich. Without newspaper "

:D :D :D :D :D :D wtf.

Russel Williams?

2008-01-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

Some smart girl wrote on her blog that they were funnier than Russel Williams. I guess Russel Willaims anak Russel Peter? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. I swear that is one of those things that me me laugh out loud for the longest time at home. I laughed by myself thinking about it. Nur Mazni Sara Vitorria Binte Suparjan Amat Sakrish, you are so kental.

I wanted to write about more personal stuff that I know Izza would go, "Yanaaaaaa, why you write like that?" kind of tone but since Maz made me laugh today, so I shall not touch on brooding topics. But here's one line. If you love us like you claim you do, tell us where we went wrong, so that gap that you feel is widening shall be gone.

Most of the mak-neneks (Umi finds it super funny) in Sexy26 finds it more important to look pretty than to go early for Maths remedial. Anak-anak pemalas betol. Anyway while waiting for my pictures to load, haha Umi is the funniest person who claims she is a Melayu person in secondary school. And when Fiza sent this to here, "I miting Izza at canteen at 12. you abis kul brape?" And she thinks Fiza was asking her what time school end. AH YELAH.

The girls who finds that time is more worth it when you spend it in the toilet, laughing unglamorously, gossiping and doing your hair.

Nisa suggested we did a Bitchy look but I think only Jannah got it right. Everyone else is like WTF eh. I have such an unglam photo of Maz but I think I shall post it tomorrow or so. HAHAHAHA.

I want to sleep. I tired ah. Maz sucks for lying to me about Onion Milk (go read her blog please omg). Liarrrrrrrrrr. Okay bye!

UGH.

2008-01-27T16:58:00.000+08:00

My damn power fat cat who think he's hot by doing that ah.

So here I am spending my Sunday rotting away when I know I have Sastera AND Econs to do, but nooooo I'd rather spend my weekend slacking cos I know when the weekdays come, it's byebye to wasting time.

I've been spending some of my nights at Tamp Mart Mac trying to solve some Maths qns so I don't rub it off the wrong way with my Maths teacher. Love goes to my bitching/gatal/minah partner, Jannah for staying with me. We look haggard at 11pm after Maths, but still pretty lah :D

I know la my shirt says Odacian but I not Odac already. (such singlish) I'm in Ayunan Dewi now, haha. I love the song Penyu Emas! (: Such lovely words, lovely beat. Sukerrr. Cyclone is on repeat on my laptop, but it sounds irritating after a while. HAHA But if I stop, I'll wanna listen to it.

I should go meet Ernie for the CD that I need from her, but that darned girlfriend hasn't smsed. Tch. I miss her sia. I think I should go and do my homework la sia. I don't want to rush in school tomorrow. I kinda like the Thursday that I sat down comfortably during break knowing I had no homework to complete in a rush. :D

I'm meeting Steph on Fri to pass her her jacket ! :D Yay, finalllllllly ~

HAHAHAHAH I remember something funny now. Anyway, those of you who knows Izzalina Bte Md Ali will know that she is rarely capable of being sweet and softspoken. Right? I mean, those of you who knows the REAL her la. I didn't say NOT capable ah, cos I was shown that side of her OMG! I really should have recorded when she spoke that way, cos I burst out laughing for a full 5-10 minutes without stopping with tears in my eyes. In the 7 years of me knowing her, I have not seen this soft side ONCE. Not even when she talks to my Mom, or another older for that matter. Not even Nurul Diyana bte Azmi, Yul. I think I finally see how she would behave when she's talking to her boyf.

She even gave that small smile and look while talking to this soft-spoken lady who came to our school. Ah *laughs*. Klakar gile.

Anyway, Ernieza Zailani is the best girlfriend. She was in the west, (in MI, I think) for some project and cos I need the CD, she's gonna get her boyf to send her here and pass it to me and then go home when she's dead tired. Sayang Ernie!

Sheeesh, my dad damn cool ah. He (and my mom) bought like jars from Malaysia with all the decorations cos he's gonna do it for this year's Raya and you know the saying early preparation is good? Yeah, he decorated the jars all by himself (when I'm supposed to be the one doing it, cos I'm like a girl and all) but yeah. Lemme show you photos! :D

Red is the one in the shop, and Green is the one my dad did from scratch. My dad damn power la okay. Dynn, see I told you my dad damn cool. You can't really see the green cos of the flash from my phone but damn pretty la seh. I want to marry someone like my dad sia, can cook, can clean and decorate and work also. HAHAH now that I write it like that, makes me wonder what does my Mom do apart from work and nag. HAHAHA. Okay I totally did not mean to be offensive kay.

Sia la my mom #$^%*^urebgefbv$^u*&$%y%h LA. Bingit babe. Daaaaaah she act like she do alot of housework (i know i dont do la but she act like she do alot padahal padahal my nenek ah do) then like complain I'm a girl and I'm darned lazy. You do my Alevel for me ah,then I 24hours do housework for you. And then she'll go, "If I could study, I will ah..." Blahblah, 20 years down the road I will say the same thing also ah but now 20years down the road punye before, I don't want ah. Then she say cannot depend on my Nenek ah but she's the one every morning go "Mak, tolong (..), Mak tolong (...)" MAKKKK IRRITATING.

Okay, I will read this post again tomorrow and feel guilty but now I bingit plus the fact my phone jatuh LAGIK. MAKKKK.

Thank you.

2008-01-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

I know I'm gonna sound shitass formal saying this, but thank you. Thank you to the girls who bothered asking, bothered bothering. Thanks Fizah for that blog entry, thanks Nisa for smsing, thanks Nadz for smsing, thanks Izza for being there, thanks girls.

Anyway I think the feeling only comes when I'm in a large group cos everything felt fine when I came back on Fri. I don't know, maybe I just need some time to clear things inside me.

I think Fri became a Let's-talk-about-Yana-cos-she-not-in-school kind of day? haha cos I found out Izza got to know from the girls and Nisa too so I guess they did talk about it? hahaha. well, thank you anyway. And I hope I get to clear my mind soon.

I found out there's gonna be a Math test like next 2 weeks on Integration? Damn, even though it's a class test, I'm not failing that. Which reminds me I need to sms Jean to tell her abt Phy :D Okay, I'm going to watch Heroes nowwwwwwww before I go get some sleep. Nighty nights :D

Let's walk away, seperately.

2008-01-24T18:43:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but I suddenly feel it's okay to drift away. To let it all go, and not look back. It's not just a matter of pain in the heart, it's physically too. I feel like dropping everything in my hands and walk away. I feel so alone, so empty. You know the feeling gets even more when you're surrounded by amazing people but you never really feel that you're connecting on a true, personal level? You're only connecting on the surface basis, not sharing some of the most intimate things you could. It wasn't just a feeling that grew overnight. It's been quite some time. I could say I don't mind, or I won't force you, but I am still human - I still feel ... slighted. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I smile, laugh, joke .. But who knows what's going on deep inside. I'm a really confused girl. Do I really seem like I don't care? Like if every single time I just laugh it off when I get hurt, does it really mean that I'm not affected to you? There's tons of time I just laugh it off. For the sake of not spoiling the mood, for the sake of understanding truly what is the meaning of jokes. I'm going to be strong. For like Ernie said, at the end of it all, All you have is yourself for the A's.

There's no one you can count on.

And for my friend who reads my blog but doesn't tag cos he thinks that I forgot to put my tagboard, haha this updateeeeeeee is for you. Chey, tak ah, but yeah I updated!

Happy advanced birthday Dee!

2008-01-19T01:28:00.000+08:00

I love my Sexy26. Plus Syafiqqqqq la. :D Today was absolute fun !

I met up with Syafiq at school before we headed down to Interchange to get a cake for Dee and then to Tanah Merah Int. Then we waited for Aiman to fetch us at the Interchange when he could have just told us to go to the busstop. Haha. Over there, we talked to this random soccer TPJC dude who told us about the VS Match.

Ayn and I met up with Izza and Maz inside Taqua - eh spelling? Then we both prayed while the others waited. So we finally got to Simpang Bedok and waited for Mal and Dee to come! Umi was in a rush to go home and she didn't even eat. She only got to eat like some stick of satays and met Dee for a while. Fizah ate jap and then left too.

Dee was so shocked when she saw us, hahahaha. Yay, another birthday surprise completed ! Thanks to Mal and Maz who liased with each other (: We talked a whole lot and laughed a whole bunch about random stuff and we kept talking about depressing stuff (like SCHOOL UGH) and haha I had to keep reminding them to talk about happy stuff and darling Izza and Aiman just had to twist it around and go, "Oh I saw bunnies hopping and a pot of gold." Thanks eh korang.

Dee got a whole bunch of presents from us ! YAY YAY. Hahahaha. And Fiq sort-of treated us ah cos he pay first and he very cincai with the bayar balik. Thanks Fiq !

Nisa SO kental ah during the whole time. Firstly, she was drinking her water and the menu just slapped her on the face, due to the wind! It was so hilarious that the makcik working there also laugh at her. HAHAHA. Then she makan so tak senonoh that her food flew HAHA. And we learnt that when you go Simpang Bedok, don't order Large but Medium. We couldn't finish the food (the girls la) and thanks to Man, Fiq and Mal, the fooooood finished! Nisa had to tapao some home lagik seh cos the food so banyaaak!

It was so fun cos we met Deeee after so long, and she was so hyper ah when she saw us and it made me sooo happy (: Yay, I'm sucha sucker for happiness. If that makes sense. Anway, Syafiq irritating ah. But hahaha I getting used to it. But I got sooo tired towards the end of the night that I sat by myself in the bus - like loner + anti-social siaa.

Okay so picturesss now ! (:

Sexy26 is like air to me.

But how do you expect me

To live alone with just me

Cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air

Can't live can't breathe with no air

It's how I feel whenever you aint there

Theres no air no air

Got me out here in the water so deep

Tell me how you gonna breathe without me

If you aint here I just can't breathe

Theres no air no air

- Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown (No Air)

My air ; My girls.

I loooooooooooove Zhenxu.

2008-01-17T04:43:00.000+08:00

4.43am.

No one knows how happy I am cos I went down to TP earlier today and met Zhenxu. God, I felt like crying cos I haven't seen that boy for the longesssst time and he's grown SO much omg. I feel so short around him now. He met me for like the shortest time ever, skipping a little of his tutorial for me :D HELLO TANG ZHEN XU I LOVE YOU OKAY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Hahaha, Izza, Maz and Ruz didn't bother about me when I went out of TP smiling like a dork cos I was so happy. All they did was, "Ah, good for you," and continued talking. Thanks ah.

I don't regret smsing him for him to come down and meet me for that lessthanoneminute thingy. HAH. He was the only one I told about me going down for that SHORRRRT time and YAY I met Tang Zhen Xu. :D

Okay my whole post is about him now, haha. And yes, I met Hizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam :D And Limei :D And Shaq. Hahaha, too many people I know in TP. Hizam, you not kacak or tampan okay. And your bicycle is the bomb :D And please increase your GPA hello boy. You want get kicked out of TP ah (if you can get kicked out for low GPA)?

Okay I'm a happy girl and it's close to 5 now so I should do my Sastera, catch a wink and get ready for school (:

Poof.

2008-01-15T21:07:00.000+08:00

This is how your table looks like when you try to achieve the aim of completing your homework before the darned weekdays take over.

~~Mazni~~Dora loves having her pictures taken.

Why Nadz is a makcik. But we still love her so.

Cos Phy lab has 3 LONG periods.

I hope to give Mrs Neo pretty presents for Valentine for the sole purpose that she's an amazing teacher.

I should get started on doing Maths because I know if I don't start, I'll never never never get started ugh. Tutorial 12 now. Goal settings too. Yuck.

Life is so tiring.

Bestfriend is the best.

2008-01-13T22:21:00.001+08:00

Coming from Mr Ng Guodong, I think that's very sweet.

Thank you bestfriend.

Die Yana Die

2008-01-13T11:09:00.000+08:00

I want to curl up into a ball and die.
This is why I wanted to keep it hush.
Go away fuckshits. I don't want to talk about it to anyone.
Fuck fuck fuck.

But I survived.

2008-01-12T20:30:00.001+08:00

atiqah;alia;RUZZZZZZZZZZ haha; me.

pasal aku sayang bani hahaa.

MCS + MLEP today was fun. Playing games like Chapteh hahaha. We seniors were just simply dying itching to bitch about people hahah. If you want to survive in a school like TPJC, please do not end up minahish, nor end up acting like a guy if you're a girl. Please learn how to adapt, and behave yourself please. There's a fine line between being gerek&happening and just totally putting it off the wrong way.

I ended up calling Ruz "Raz" when I kat MLEP Room. See Raz, bukan you je yang I tersilap cakap, haha. But I definitely know who is who okay. Raz is the sweet(ahyelah) one, while Ruz is the giler irritating one who loves to irritate me. HAHAH.

And I found out that Syafiq isn't really a guy deep down. Actually I know already ah, but I never expected him to be awesome in ting-ting and 5stones :D Mimpi Manis song is damn irritating, please. It's so irritatingly catchy that I kept singing it - and irritated Izza with it. But what's new kan? :D

So I went off with Nadz, Izza and Fad to TP open house. I think we damn random and bastard ah cos wearing our TP clothes, shamelessly go collect goodie bag. HAHAH. We met Huda, Herry and some other 3 people - which I now remember, didn't bother asking their name or relations to Izza, haha. So we 4, minus the people we met at TP went walking around and ended up infront of the TP library sitting down. I don't know how people can NOT APPRECIATE the cool air from the library OMG. So Hamizan (Nadz's kawan and Izza's neighbour) sat down with us and soon later Nadz went off. And Hamizan left, of course.

Then Jnab (HAHAHAHAH - it's an affectionate term, yo.) came along. Then later Izza, Hafidz(eh?) and me went to the tempat smayang and while I waited for Izza, Nadz called and gave me the most random call ever. HAHAH. I told Izza after it and we burst out laughing, haha. Okay, but she sweeet la, Nadz :D Never expect too much in a relationship; end up being hurt or bitter.

Okay da, I still sick but sleeping early on Sat is so no-lifeeeeee. But nevermind ah, I go see what DVD I can go watchhhhhh :D OKAY BYE.

2008-01-10T21:15:00.000+08:00

I miss Razali Bin Norazmi. Chiak, Ernie & Reza are people no one can replace. No one at all.

And I miss Matthew, Joyce, Nette, Dong, Zhenxu, just to name a few. Archives really brought back memories. My sweet sixteen was a splash, watching the video over and over again. (: And I met Joyce earlier ~ :D

Eyecandy will remain as that. *eyes ayn, dynn and nadz* Tu jerr eh.

2008-01-09T00:43:00.000+08:00

Lyrics of a song I'm currently liking. So true, so real, but not longer applicable. Used to be a few months ago, but I honestly feel I've let go. HAHAHA.

You, do you remember me?

Like I remember you?

Do you spend your life

Going back in your mind to that time?

'Cause I, I walk the streets alone

I hate bein' on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I'm going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

How, how could we go wrong?

It was so good and now it's gone

And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross

And what we had isn't lost

Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

You'll always be in my life

Even if I'm not in your life

Because you're in my memory

You, will you remember me?

I actually wanted to write him a short note for Promos saying this,

do you remember me? i hope so. anw, good luck for promos!

But it never happened cos I got too lazy to write notes. (: And people, please remember that when you wish for something to happen, do specify WHEN. Cause you'll never know whether you'll be granted the wish when you no longer yearn for it. Take it from someone who knows.

I don't wish to fail tomorrow's test, but I do not mind doing badly for it so I can get banded and get a lecturer who's patient and will go through things slowly so our foundation remains strong. So its 1am now, and I shall get started on my Maths.

If I'm gone tomorrow, will you remember what we had?

Will you cherish me like you'll never see me again?

Hold me tight like you'll never see me again,

because only God knows how uncertain tomorrow is.

2008-01-07T20:23:00.000+08:00

That's hot Tyra Banks for you :D Anyway, I'm down with a cough, again. How sickening. And, I have tons of tutorials, practicals, and studying to do *rolls eyes* I feel sick of studying, yuck. Haha. Anyway, pictures from yesterday.

enjoying his coffeebean, which ironically has no coffee in it (:

and I think my brother loves me just enough, to have my face not taken.

So Maz didn't come today, and I irritated everyone by saying I feel so lonely......... And lost.... And I think I deserved to get slapped. I'm sorry to all of my Sexy26 that I keep complaining to. Hahaha, lessons went by OH SO SLOWLY today, and I kept turning to Jannah and complaining to her that only 5 minutes have passed! Arts and culture lecture was boring, so boring compared to Sports lecture. I think I'm going to take Sports as my elective. As least, the lecturer is nicer, and ... better.

I have -

; Phy Prac

; Phy Oscillation Tut

; Maths Tut 11

; Maths Rev Wk

ALL BY TOMORROW.

And Phy test in two days. Sigh.

Izza and Ayn kesayangan, I know the criteria's like shit now and I know you're feeling shitty and f-ed up, but please hang in there. Work hard for this one test, slug it all you have and then you can rest in ease knowing you'll still see us around. You know I'm going to be here if you need me, esp in Econs Ayn. I'm not good, but I can do just enough to help you in Micro. Hang in there, and I sayang both of you.

And I leave you with pictures from Phy prac earlier. I think Nisa and Umi is mad.

Pretty Nisa, eh?

HAHA NISA. & UMI. :D

I am looking forward to finishing my Phy tut and prac and a little of Maths, and slug the rest out during my 9 period break tomorrow. Hahaha.

Dynn, I don't know why I'm typing this out here, but I know you read this so hahaha. I'm not judgemental of people, I just get judgemental of him and his friends. And things just happen, and relationships just drift apart laaaaa. I have no answers pon. HAHAHA. Okay dah, tu je. Do you realise I do not have your numberrrrrrrrrr ~

OKAY BYE. Back to my no-life tutorial hobby.

delete the old photos because they will not change but the people in it do;

2008-01-06T22:50:00.000+08:00

let me drown and wallow in self pity cos ima be alone tmr without maz.
BOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO.

shows how much i depend on her AMAGOD
and tmr got econssssssssss.

2008-01-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

And I thought the year and schedule couldn't get any worst. But it did. When I saw that I was going to see more of you, I broke down. Not you. Anyone but you. I don't understand why I seem to be seeing more of you now. I don't want to.

I broke down when Izza laughed at me in my face, I broke down when Maz said she totally knows what I'm going through, I broke down when I read Fizah's msg, I broke down during Maths lecture. I broke down so much, but at the end of the day, it's you I'm still facing.

Give me a year ago and I would have done anything within my control to make it better. Rewind it back to last year and I would have not allowed us to continue like this. Give me a year ago and I would try to make things right. But now, it's a year later. I'm not going to try to make this work. Things have gone way too far, way too much for me to try and make it better. Nothing can be done to salvage what has slid away too far. It won't work.

And Nas is a pakcik now (: And Nas lights up my day, when it seems all dark. Even though he doesn't know it. And his smile is pervectic, please. And hahahaha I haven't read his messages for so long. I shall do it tomorrow (: Yaaaaay, hahah.

And I feel like I'm taking to a GP teacher when I talk with you Dynn, hahaha. I'm always going, "eh did i type it correctly? shit." hahahahahha.

OKAY BYE. I think I need a proper social life now.

2008-01-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

Please choose someone to shag;kill;marry (:

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Today was funny. I played the game with Ayn and Maz online the other day and Ayn's result was sooo funny :D Never expected it, but hahah yes. Then I told Jannah, Fizah and Nisa to play too :D Yay, hahaha. I like~ And then I asked Izza and hahahahahahahaha I swear it's fun (:

<3

I think Maz and Ayn have weird habits, or thinking. Holidays did something to their brains, seriously. And I honestly think Ayn has not been in school lfor the last 3 months of last year. :D And Maz has a serious case of deafness and jumping to conclusion-ness.

Apparently, the new IN word is bully-ker. Like bootliker.
Trendsetter eh Maz, haha.

Ayn : Eh wait. *holds up* Yana, *pointing* isn't that Fizah's shoe? And... Fizah.....?
Izza : Huh? What's up with you? That's Yana's shoe laaaa. And Fizah's wearing her shoes.
Ayn : Noooooooo. That's Fizah's shoe. Yana's wearing Fizah nyer kasut.

And I already starting laughing like mad.

Izza : Eh, she wore that like since last year ah.
Ayn : *persistent* Noo, I remember Yana wore something like that colour *pointing to my light blue earpiece*, and you were wearing your maroon shoe.
Izza : OMG she has been wearing that since like a few months ago la, and I've not been wearing my maroon shoe for so long.
Ayn : NOOOOO. *goes on babbling about how strongly she believes in herself*

Whatever eh Ayn. You're so kental, I swear.

Izza, Maz, Ayn & Fizah are my heartbeat <3

2008-01-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

With each passing day, I find gratitude in the fact I'm no longer closer to you; or as close as we were before. And with today, I finally realise it is not a bad thing to lose you to them.

I'm almost never judgemental with people. Especially over petty things like how they dress. How they dress is up to them and has nothing to do with me, at any cost. But to see you sprawled in sins with them, to see you, the boy I thought I knew so well- in close distances with them in a place almost full of sins, made me see how much you've changed. No longer are you the boy who I thought deserved my love - undivided love. The love you got before this, was wayyy much more than what any other ordinary friend got. But you weren't ordinary. You were special. But not anymore.

I wasn't shocked. I knew I'll see it one day. I showed the picture to Maz and she went, "Oh my god," and I laughed, lightheartedly. I saw it coming; I just didn't want to believe it. I held on to the hope you were still my boy; the boy so fine in the past.

I'm sorry but I can't help but to be judgemental of you and your friends. Maybe because I feel sore that I've lost you to them, that I started judging them.

Maybe this year, it'll be much better. You will still remain important, but I know the days of crying over you, over our friendship are now over.

I'm not going to be as immature as I was in the past; hoping you'll get jealous at the thought of me being close with other guys - almost as close as you & me were. All I wish for, is just for one day, for you to notice I'm no longer there beside you - that I'm gone. And I wish for that one day you'll miss me and wished things like this never happened. But if it doesn't happen, it's okay because I do not indulge with happiness in your misery.

Let me remember you as someone so pure.
Let me remember our friendship untainted.

2007-12-29T02:18:00.000+08:00

I should totally sleep early, to get used to it. And damn the timetable is one messed up shit. 9 free periods is meant for me to screw myself over, is it? Damn, which part of your smart brains (being teachers and all) would honestly believe that just because A's are near, we're going to sit down and study for a continuous 9 periods. Or maybe 6? I can bet I'm only going to study for 3 at most.

I don't like the fact that I end up having lots of free period early in the day and have late classes. Messed up situation, totally.

Stupid decisions.

2007-12-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

I'm going to entertain myself at 12.17am because everyone is asleep (so no life!) and I'm alone in my livingroom with my laptop and Chris Brown singing his heart out to me.

So firstly, Izzalina Md Ali, happy birthday dear! Finally 17 eh! (: Hahahahaha. Having a late birthday is good cause people you met throughout that year will be obligated to give you gifts. Imagine a birthday in January. People who could potentially be your good friends would not know you well by January kan? Hahahahah, shut up.

So I went out with Liyy, Jayne, Jean, Vany for some lunch - which wasn't really lunch. Hahah. And the exchange of Christmas & New Year cards cos stingy(or broke) Liyy finds it cheaper to meet us and pass it then to paste stamps on it, haha. Knowing Jean, she didn't reply to messages from me, Liyy and Vany which proves she was still asleep - at 1pm, knowing she's meeting us. Such a sweetheart of mine. So Liyy, Vany and I procceded to Mac, and bought almost nothing cos we're downright broke and ate lunch at home HAHAHAHA.

Okay Iggie's talking to me and I saw Mattie's(Matthew actually, haha) blog earlier and damn I miss those Cheena fuckers. Hahahaha, pardon my choice of words haha. I swear Iggie's a damn idiot.

[b/g info : (My Personal Msg on MSN) i wanna do it to you. ;shagkillmarry]

IGGIE (: fred perry says:
you wan to do it with mary?
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
and mary was too shag and died?
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
haha siao
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
i wanna shag, kill and marry 3 different guys LOL
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
lol
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
shag is a action ?/
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
lol. shag = bang ?
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
yes
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
haha
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
ohoh...
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
but you only wan to shag(bang), kill and marry those3 guys when you are 26 rite?

yana; sexytwentysix. says:
why 26?
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
cos thats when u're sexy~

yana; sexytwentysix. says:
and you're not sexy when you're not 26?
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
why 26?
IGGIE (: fred perry says:
maybe...
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
HAHA
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
ooooh
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
omg im so slow

If you didn't get that, welcome to the I'm-slow club.

Back to that, after we ate, walked around and stuff, Liyy and I left cos we had other appointment and I was supposed to meet the birthday girl and surprise her with a small slice of cake. Anyway at Bugis MRT, it was ... chaotic? The train stop working, for godknows what reason and everyone just went o.o So when we could finally get in the train, boy was it overcrowded omg. And Singaporeans are just downright ugly when faced with such situation. With probably some exception of patient ones like me. (: One auntie even screamed this;

Don't push me la. Push push, I hit you then you know.

Which was amazing cos she made me wanting to burst out laughing but I didnt cause I prefer to maintain my sanity infront the sweaty, smelly, cramped situation.

Anyway Izza spoiled my whole plan by going out. Hahaha, so I had to pass the cake to her maid.

And this is what she said when I talk to her just now.

» I z Z a L i N a « says:
yeah i think u sweet ah

Hahahaha, thanks eh. :D

And I'm sucha dumbwit.

Erdiah(: and.her.rebonded.hair! says:
babe dlm friendster u gamba i , delete pls (: tak lawa ah gamba tu. i lk like a puppy :(
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
gmbr mane?
Erdiah(: and.her.rebonded.hair! says:
yg i pakai baju hijau
Erdiah(: and.her.rebonded.hair! says:
leh syg?3
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
okays(:
yana; sexytwentysix. says:
mane seh gmr u pakai baju hitam?
Erdiah(: and.her.rebonded.hair! says:
baju hijau syg!!!!!!!!!!

Hahah, shut up la. I swear I saw it as Hitam.

And I don't have a guilty conscience cos I know I don't like you. So if somewhere in your wierdness think that I'm fond of you, haha sorry to burst your bubble. I don't care to show people about it, or talk about it openly (okay ah only to sexy26 la & erdiah) cos I know eyecandy's the end to it, haha.

So if people, you go.

Yana, you obvious sia, I think if I (insertname), I would think you like me seh.

I'll go,

Nevermind la, as long as I know I don't like him can already. If he nak perah santan (OMG IZZA!) hahaha then let him be(:

And since Chris Brown is repeatedly singing to me, hahah this song owns.

And I will never try to deny

That your are my whole life

Cuz if you

Ever let me go I would die

So I won't

I don't need another woman

I just need your all or nothing

Cuz if I got that

Then I'll be straight

Baby you're the best part of my day

I know that he didn't mean straight straight but it's funny to think that if he didn't get the girl's love, he'll turn gay.

Oh, anyway this reminds me of something Liyy said over lunch. Hahaha, (insertschoolname) has sleeveless tops. A friend of her friend (or am I supposed to add another friend there?) was sitting down in class with her head supported by her hand and slightly apart from her body so she stared at her armpit hair and simply took the scissors (can you believe it, i had to YAHOO up the spelling !) and began cutting it. And what's worst? :D

The scissors wasn't hers. It belonged to her partner. I swear I would lose my appetite for probably a month if I see anyone doing that - in class, or anywhere for the matter. Do it in the bathroom, for goodness sake.

And I was walking at PP the other day, and this weird woman was wearing sleeveless and just began raising her hand, exposing her armpit hairs (is there a technical term for this?) for all to see. It's so long, you can put a comb there and comb it neatly. Gosh, this makes me sick.

And another thing makes me sick. On the way home from Izza's place, I was walking to the busstop and this two guys were walking infront of me and they had dyed hair and stuff, and looked like your typical Mats. But, when we reached the bustop, there was this young couple, I bet they're like ... 14, or 15. (It comes with age, since I'm turning 18, 15 seems so young!) Anyway, the girl scoffed and stared at the guys. I guess she didn't really look in the mirror when she decided to draw her eyebrows red cause they were non-existent.

Anyway, when I got on the bus, another small size Minah came on alone and began blasting Techno songs. I swear I got sick. Not disgusted sick but literally. Techon makes me wanna puke and makes me have a headache. I don't know why but if you wanna make me sick, please blast techno in my ears.

I think I have no life but to blog this much. I shall wait for Liyy to send me the photos so I can upload it and then post this.

And Liyy takes really shaky photos, haha. Okay, I took an hour to do this. Gd'night while I go stalk stupid videos on Youtube to laugh at.

2007-12-26T16:25:00.000+08:00

Our cat's gone. It followed Dad, Mom and younger brother to the beach, climbed up a tree and didn't come home with us. It got Adik crying, Bak sad and Mama resigning to fate.

I like MSNing my eyecandy ah. He irritating gileeeeeeeeee but makes me smile :D Actually kan, he's like one of the main reason I masok online ah. I mean, apart from talking to my SEXY26. Hahahaha, diam la Yana.

I think I should get started in opening my books. And to start on my assignments, I gotta know what they are first, right? So haha, I think I should go ask around :D

2007-12-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

It's a bad day. It started bad. In fact, it started as early as 12mn this morning.

I don't know why I let down my guard every single time I talk to you. I don't know why I don't learn from the past. I don't know why I think you're never going to hurt me. I don't know why you're so insensitive. I don't know why I'm so sensitive when it comes to you. I don't know why every single time I feel things between us get better, it only gets worse. I don't know why I always end up hurt, but tell you its nothing. I don't know why I'm this weak in front of you, or cause of you. In fact, it's always you who ends up hurting me.

I guess I'm just so stupid to never get sick of you.

Maz da balik(:

2007-12-23T11:43:00.000+08:00

So I'd wanted to blog yesterday, but Syirah was using my lappie, so today it is (:

Anyway Arsenal won yesterday :D Wooohooo. So Syirah and I were at our lappie when they were showing who were playing yesterday, and my dad was talking about Van Persie not even being a reserve and I went,

Me : Hleb main?

Dad : Ya, Rosicky, Fabregas also.

Me : Flamini?

Dad : Yep.

Me : YEEEEESSSSSSS AH.

Abg : Yana macam betol jeeeeeee.

Then Bak was laughing and looking at me uh. Well, haha the only reason I watch is to watch the soccer players, namely the 4 & Van Persie (:

Anyway, my sayang got captaincy of soccer team and he only told me personally yesterday ah. Act malu jer. But I already knew he got captaincy waaaay before, haha. Ima go down next year and watch him play, and then search for my own Hleb from the new soccer team. The new J1s who join have better be good (most important!) and hot (2nd most important!)

Okay, so I'm like talking to Ayn online.

nuraynnnn. says:
tunggu maz balik
nuraynnnn. says:
then see biler tht makcik free
nuraynnnn. says:
haha
yana; touch till it burns. says:
maz balik 23
nuraynnnn. says:
today
nuraynnnn. says:
hahaaha
yana; touch till it burns. says:
OH
yana; touch till it burns. says:
yaaaa, hahah

Sungguh kental, haha.

ManU won the match, and I was gushing over Ronaldo, and not liking ManU so when I salam Pak Long when he left,

PL : You like Ronaldo, but you hate me. What the heck?

Me : Well, I like Ronaldo, but not ManU, hahahaha. He hot la.

And this is what happens when two girls get bored on a Sunday evening at my place, with nothing to do.

The thrid last photo was so ... Haha. Ayn thought I was the one on the right and Izza's on the left. And Aiman didn't think I was in the photo and Izza's the one on the left. In MSN la. Hahaha, so weird.

I have soooo much photos with Syirah, hahahahaha. But not all are here ah. Some unglam giler! Okay, I'm doneeee.

Ernie left for Aust smalam ): Come back soon twin !

2007-12-21T17:07:00.000+08:00

the wall that decorates my room (:

not wall ah, but you get the idea.

i need to paint my room first before decorating the walls.

i'm still sick. in fact, i'm sicker than i was yesterday. i think both maz and i got so pissed yesterday. being pissed and sick never works, cos while i was smsing her, i forget to press the send button, and waited for her to reply. how dumb.

speaking of which, maz left for mersing already! i miss that cat.

you know, i've learnt that if you want something so bad, it won't come. and i feel so stupid for wanting it badly, ugh.

anyway, just something to cheer me up. while i was going thru friendster, i came along my friend's profile and saw his pics. then i sawwwwwww smileyboy(: inside the pic. i've never thought smileyboy was interested(thatmuch) in soccer, but he was in fact in the same soccer team for the soccer competition they joined. what amazes me was, i went down to see the match, to see my friend, but i cannot, cannot recall seeing him(smileyboy) at all. this is what happens when you just concentrate on oneeee person, you tend not to realise anyone else. AND, in the picture, he was next to my friend, (halfhugging - like you know, those soccer pics) and boy was he cute. ONLY THERE AH. cos his hair was short. i think i prefer him when his hair shorter, so he should cut his hair before school reopens, k smileyboy? (:

k yana, shutup. nisaaaaa will not stop teasing you about this. sheeesh, haha.

and now, the oneeee thing i want so badly is - to get better. insyaallah.

2007-12-20T20:51:00.000+08:00

i feel so sick. what a bad day to fall sick, since it's raye. i think i'm having the flu, gosh. my throat itches like mad. its hurting so bad i feel like taking out my throat, get rid of all the sickly things inside and scratch it like mad, dryclean it then put it back in and lead a healthy life. that's how sick i feel. ugh.

anyway, i was blog/lj hopping earlier, and i came across this girl's blog - whom i know, seeing she still hasn't gotten over her previous relationship, which i know was over long ago. i'll love to say i pity her, but then again... the way she's handling things, i feel like screaming ; get a life dude.

anyway, i think no one owes anyone an explaination when you break up with your boyf/girlf. but if you do explain it to people, i think its extremely lame when you say, "no one likes to see us together anyway." but who cares what i think, haha.

i think my dad is a huge sadist. he laughs at the dude who's not doing so well in deal or no deal, haha.

i want to take out my throat and clean it NOW. it itches like hell.

things to do :
- sms maz before she leaves.
- research on gp proj
- print maths, and attempt at least ONE.

okay, off i go to find my phone.

2007-12-20T09:28:00.000+08:00

it feels weird to be back in blogger. haha. okay, im going to tidy this blog up, and use it more frequently than my lj (:

2007-04-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

friday's PE was awesome.
the S26 girls stick it through together, we ran in the rain together, we cheered together !
& we hugged each other after the run.
stinky and wet ? of course.
do we care? duhh, no !

why? cause 07S26 is simply the best, there's no other way around it !

yuni, sab, nad & me.
friday aftnn.
drenched. fun. mad. stupid. weird. dumb. shoik !
can i sum the whole afternn like that ? :D
HAHAHA.

my fault. yes. yuni's too.
HAHAHA (:

we had make up lectures just now !
it was so cute ! ^___^
jannah, fiza, me, izza were gonna get waffles.
walked past a board and jannah eh,
" eeeeeeeh ! -insertname- there ah ! YAAAANAAAAA. "
hahaha. and he looks dumb. :P
my eyecandy !
and she couldn't stop talking about it.
even when we went home, she told the whole S26 girls.
T___T
hahaha.
anw, he's just an eyecandy ! :D
LOL.
one of them, if i may emphasise. :D
fun fun ! <3

oh wells. i'm tired & worn out.
so imma end with this :

baby, look me in my eye <3

2007-04-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

firsly, i love jean! <3
and christine hang ! ^___^v

next, i love TPJC 07S26.
if you didnt hear enough of it, already ! :D
<33

that class is love ! ^___^v
i love crapping stupid jokes with those people (:
SHAGGED is our word now !
GP lesson is actually love !

eunice, nadz, fizah, izza, komathi, ain, umi, anisaaaaaaaaa, brammi & everyone ! :D
nas has a fanclub, president : izza !
AHAHAHA.
yesyes. :D

how much more do i need to emphasize?
<3
they're love.
and i love them ! ^___^v

sch is not a chore now ! expect for hws :x
i love yuni too ! :D
and sab, kamilah, farah, nadiah !
ODAC <3
hahaha. i shall shut up now !

BYEEEE~

2007-04-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

i like the new skin ! (:
a new beginning ! and a new start.
and very simple & plain ^__^
like my life now.
no complications , just sweetness (:

i've been seeing alot of my eyecandIES so far :D
note the plural part.
hahaha ~

i went out with nad, fizah and izza just now for "studying" session.
ya right, we ended up in tamp lib, supporting our sch ! :D
<3 tpjc, yo ~

i'm addicted to this song, it's love !
(:

i may just be active in my blog again ~ :D